To Be Alone

Whether we'd like to admit it or not, we are all alone in this world. We may love many people, be in love with others, and even be surrounded by people constantly, but there will always be moments, waves of realisation, that the only person that exists in this reality, is you.

We live in a society that frowns upon being alone. They often imply that being alone means you're lonely, means you lack something or rather, you are incomplete by yourself. Our society does not teach us that being alone is not something we can change, it is not the problem, but rather they should encourage us to embrace it and help us focus on being comfortable and happy enough to be alone.

Futhermore, a lover should not complete you, but rather compliment you. It should be more along the lines of - 'Beside you, I stand alone' or as Khalil Gibran says- "Fill each other's cup but drink not from the same cup." Each person should maintain their individuality and strengthen one another, rather then being completely dependent their partner to be happy.

I must admit, there are times in life that being alone is a terrifying, harsh feeling, and the fear of living in that way takes full advantage of us. I think we all go through it at some point in our lives, and once you realise it's a frame of mind that you've created, possibly because you're scared, uncertain or worried, it just seems easier to deal with.

It's simple things that can fix it, like taking a walk, looking at art, reading, writing, spending time with friends or family or even just sleeping it out. In fact it can just happen in a single moment with someone or alone, that you just feel soothed being you again. For me, it's often when I do something I love, I smile and laugh, or just get my mind off it. And strangely as it came, it leaves.

It's ironic that we all are alone in our own worlds, yet we all live together in this one.
We humans are odd individuals; we search for completeness everywhere around us, instead of starting to look inside first.


Yajna Ramdass
April 2009

Uplifting..

There are people in my life that make me want to live. They save me from myself and the tortures I have to face on a daily basis. There were so many times when I've doubted everything, times when I questioned everything, and times where I didn't even have the energy to move, to think, to feel. And everytime, I am blessed to say, someone has picked me up. My friends, my family, someone, anyone, would walk in and help me to notice them and their beliefs. As they do so, as they show me themselves and how they love me, I see beauty, I see deep love and affection, and I see a reason to start smiling.

But as much as one can stand by you and advise you about the situation you're in, I know that the only person that heals you, that saves you, is you. For only you have the power to do so. No one is a victim of circumstance unless they allow themselves to be.

Do not misunderstand me, and think you don't need these people- as much you can uplift yourself alone, you often need someone to clear the fog in your mind and give you start. A boost. A reason.

For me that reason is love. Love and astonishing beauty. The kind that exists beyond bodies of earth. The type that you can only observe deep within an incredibly good soul. And once I recognise its existance inside my friend or family, this material, corrupt, cruel society seems minute to the board spectrum of love that I could contain.

Once I start feeling again, that ray of sunlight softly encourages me to love, love, and love some more, and soon I begin to remember who I am, and just how much I love to love.

Hating and blaming, in this life, brings nothing but even more pain and emptiness. One can get so engrossed in the cause of a loss, that it completely prevents you from living, loving and embracing your true self. I've come to realise that even though it's difficult at times, forgiving someone is often the best cure for you.

Yajna Ramdass
20/04/09

Imperfect Divine

I want to know you..
I want to know your eyes when they first open, as they explore mine at the start of a new day.
I want to know your first smile in the morning.. And the last before bed.
I want to know what makes your heart sing and your mind dance.
I want to know what uplifts you beyond the clouds and what holds you tightly to the earth.
I want to know what your favourite colour is and what music speaks to your soul.
I want to know what type of jokes makes you laugh and what type of movies you'd spend days watching.
I want to know if you love to read and which stories will never leave you.
I want to know how you express yourself, do you find words, shapes or colours to fill your emotions?
I want to know your moments of love and it's astounding ecstacy.
I want to know how you love and who.
But more importantly that than happiness, i want to know your darkness.
I want to know the sadness that droops your eyelids and leaves that distant longing in your eyes.
I want to know your coldest thought and your most terrifying dreams.
I want to know your weaknesses and how you found your strength.
I want to know why your so afraid and why you hold so many defenses.
I want to know what makes you tear and what makes you thankful.
I want to know what makes you doubt, what makes you ache, what makes you cry.
I want to know how you think and what you believe to be true.
I want to know you, not just your body and your likes and dislikes, but you.
I want to know how the universe you've created, surrounds you, and i want to know at the end of it all, what makes your heart beat a little softer or a little harder..
I want to know you.
Just you.
Imperfect divine.
So don't you see?
It was never a question of dating, it was never a question of where we'll end up, but it was always an opportunity to share yourself, and for once, for me to really know you as you learn of me.

Yajna Ramdass
17/04/09