After an extremely long tiresome day, I found myself dosing off on my flight home. I awoke to an announcement explaining that our landing will be delayed, due to a raging tempest surrounding the city. On the earth, a torrent of rain flooded the streets, while hail stones violently bruised everything in its path. In combination, the vicious wind, random flashes of light and roaring of thunder expressed the brutality of this storm. But I, being in the air, above the clouds, found myself in the middle of something completely different.
Slightly sleepy, I stared out the window. The black of night painted the sky, but after every odd second there was a flash of blinding light. White, bright light, that seemed to possess only the purest energy. With every spark, the sky was lit, and for a minute moment I was able to see what surrounds me. Slowly I began to form an image of my outside environment. Below me lay a dusty, grayish-white, fluffy blanket; while above me seemed to seize depths of endless darkness. Each time the sky was ignited I viewed different sculptures of the clouds beside me, and each time I found myself being more and more fascinated by the next piece. From the stern head of a Pharaoh to a free flying superman, an artist created it all.
The dull rattling and blunt sound as each gust of wind struck the plane, was heaven’s choice as background music. I soon became aware of the sounds around me, and began to wait for real anger- the roaring of livid thunder. But no, it never came, for I waited and waited, listening intently. I noticed there was no real noise, there was no violence, in this storm there were quick, prevailing, strips of light that brightened the sky, and no, there was no aggression, only order- as each spark had its own turn to express his point of view in their argument. With all these thoughts going through my mind, I found myself being mesmerized by the silence of this storm. How amazing is it, that above the clouds, the heavens fought silently with light. Captivated by my thoughts and the beauty of it all, I forgot to fear for my life. And then, it started.
Slowly gnawing inside of me, the fear began to subtly drug my body and mind. Lightning, with all its beauty, possesses extreme power and thus has the potential to be exceptionally destructive. In a split second, we could lay victim to the end of this great force; easily losing control- we will surely plunge to a crushing death. The more I thought about it, the more fear the controlled me. I prayed, “Dear God, please don’t let me die, I’m not ready to, what will happen to my parents? My brothers? They will live in misery for the rest of their lives. What of my dreams? I have so much I want to do in this world, so much to change, so much to help, and so much to achieve.” Staring out the window, once awestruck by beauty, I only saw death, darkness and destruction. Fear controlled me like I was merely a robot in its game, converting every thought to prayer, I fought to be my own master again. Staring in silence at the outside world, no one knew of the extraordinary internal battled within me. In the climax of my war against fear, there was yet another flash of blinding light. But this time it was different. The war ended. I won. I was free from my own prison- and all I felt, was serenity. No fear, no worry, just a calming silence within me- for once again I was captivated by the magnificence of a unique illustration.
A cloud mountain. Built with dark and light shades of gray, and tipped with white, a perfect snow capped mountain floated in the heavens. In that moment I had tortured and diminished my fear, for I thought, how incredible I am- chosen to be a witness of both a heavenly quarrel, and gallery. Yes, something could go wrong, and I will spiral to the ground, but I won't. I won't choose fear in this moment, I won't choose death either. I will choose life, I will choose beauty and above all, I will choose love. As we began to descend, the turbulence grew stronger as the clouds rejected us ripping through them. I maintained my frame of mind; I was not afraid even if I were to die, at least my last moment was unbelievable and full of love. Besides, I’ve still got to change the world. It still awaits me. And I know it’s not my time to leave this world just yet. I just know it.
When we did finally land, there was silence, promptly followed by a boisterous applause and praise to God. I only realized then, that most people did not see the beauty I saw. As much I had battled fear and was victorious, many people didn’t. I could see most of them silent, still suffering from shock that they indeed, made it to the ground safely.
What was beautifully experienced on this flight was- if you’re too afraid of not living, you will miss out on seeing the absolute beauty in life, even if it is right outside your window.
-Yajna Ramdass
6 November 2007
Slightly sleepy, I stared out the window. The black of night painted the sky, but after every odd second there was a flash of blinding light. White, bright light, that seemed to possess only the purest energy. With every spark, the sky was lit, and for a minute moment I was able to see what surrounds me. Slowly I began to form an image of my outside environment. Below me lay a dusty, grayish-white, fluffy blanket; while above me seemed to seize depths of endless darkness. Each time the sky was ignited I viewed different sculptures of the clouds beside me, and each time I found myself being more and more fascinated by the next piece. From the stern head of a Pharaoh to a free flying superman, an artist created it all.
The dull rattling and blunt sound as each gust of wind struck the plane, was heaven’s choice as background music. I soon became aware of the sounds around me, and began to wait for real anger- the roaring of livid thunder. But no, it never came, for I waited and waited, listening intently. I noticed there was no real noise, there was no violence, in this storm there were quick, prevailing, strips of light that brightened the sky, and no, there was no aggression, only order- as each spark had its own turn to express his point of view in their argument. With all these thoughts going through my mind, I found myself being mesmerized by the silence of this storm. How amazing is it, that above the clouds, the heavens fought silently with light. Captivated by my thoughts and the beauty of it all, I forgot to fear for my life. And then, it started.
Slowly gnawing inside of me, the fear began to subtly drug my body and mind. Lightning, with all its beauty, possesses extreme power and thus has the potential to be exceptionally destructive. In a split second, we could lay victim to the end of this great force; easily losing control- we will surely plunge to a crushing death. The more I thought about it, the more fear the controlled me. I prayed, “Dear God, please don’t let me die, I’m not ready to, what will happen to my parents? My brothers? They will live in misery for the rest of their lives. What of my dreams? I have so much I want to do in this world, so much to change, so much to help, and so much to achieve.” Staring out the window, once awestruck by beauty, I only saw death, darkness and destruction. Fear controlled me like I was merely a robot in its game, converting every thought to prayer, I fought to be my own master again. Staring in silence at the outside world, no one knew of the extraordinary internal battled within me. In the climax of my war against fear, there was yet another flash of blinding light. But this time it was different. The war ended. I won. I was free from my own prison- and all I felt, was serenity. No fear, no worry, just a calming silence within me- for once again I was captivated by the magnificence of a unique illustration.
A cloud mountain. Built with dark and light shades of gray, and tipped with white, a perfect snow capped mountain floated in the heavens. In that moment I had tortured and diminished my fear, for I thought, how incredible I am- chosen to be a witness of both a heavenly quarrel, and gallery. Yes, something could go wrong, and I will spiral to the ground, but I won't. I won't choose fear in this moment, I won't choose death either. I will choose life, I will choose beauty and above all, I will choose love. As we began to descend, the turbulence grew stronger as the clouds rejected us ripping through them. I maintained my frame of mind; I was not afraid even if I were to die, at least my last moment was unbelievable and full of love. Besides, I’ve still got to change the world. It still awaits me. And I know it’s not my time to leave this world just yet. I just know it.
When we did finally land, there was silence, promptly followed by a boisterous applause and praise to God. I only realized then, that most people did not see the beauty I saw. As much I had battled fear and was victorious, many people didn’t. I could see most of them silent, still suffering from shock that they indeed, made it to the ground safely.
What was beautifully experienced on this flight was- if you’re too afraid of not living, you will miss out on seeing the absolute beauty in life, even if it is right outside your window.
-Yajna Ramdass
6 November 2007
6 comments:
Excellent first post Yajna! You are a good writer :)
It is all outsie your window. Just take a look :)
Beautiful...
Thanks observer! So glad u enjoyed it.
:)
i wrote as i experienced..
Mwah
Yajna
hello~! (got here fm paulocoelhoblog.com)
beautiful.. :) what a lovely picture! i am transported there...
luv*~
Serene
Glad u liked it :)
I often read your comments on Paulo's blog. I love him too soo much :)
Mwah
Yajna
thanks for this,
calmed a silent storm within me.
I'm glad duality :)
Mwah
Yajna
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